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Living the Happily Ever After
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13th-Feb-2017 01:26 pm - K-Rants Bodily Autonomy
true love

We have a shortage of organs for transplants. Yet no one suggests that we should register our blood type etc and be responsible for donating organs as needed. Not even ones we could lose with minimal negative effect. No, in fact we don't even use organs that are clearly no use any more because someone has died. In order to use someone's organs the person with the organs has to volunteer and if the organs are to be removed while the person is alive they have to demonstrate that they're not volunteering under duress.

I'm an organ donor by the way. Please use anything I haven't used up once I'm done with it.

If I died without ID or someone who knows me nearby they couldn't use my organs.

It doesn't matter who needs those organs it could be the President, the Pope, a drug addict, a rock star, or a young adult with all the potential in the world or all of the above. None of them get the organs unless they can verify that I chose to be a donor.

No individual has more rights to my body than me, even if I'm dead.


There isn't massive disagreement on this issue until I get pregnant. Then even though I could not be required to give up one organ to sustain the life of another or multiple other people I am required to give up my body.

(Not currently in California. Here I could have the potential that might become a child removed, but if those who oppose abortion get there way that might change. )

I've been pregnant. My understanding is that my pregnancy was more or less middle of the road. It ended almost 6 years ago.

While I was pregnant I lost lung capacity, my digestive system went wonky, my feet expanded, I lost endurance on my bike, my memory became less reliable, and my hormones shifted (I used to very rarely cry, during pregnancy books and commercials could make me cry, I've mellowed some but not back to where I was).

I plan to remind my sweet child of this as needed through the years, but it was okay because it was something I had chosen.

When someone says that abortion kills that is no more accurate than saying that not donating organs does. If that's the case and one still opposes abortion then I expect them to also require everyone to register to donate organs. I could use an ear, I know people who could use several other organs.

If one is claiming that the problem is just that the government pays for it:

First yes it is a medical procedure any state that covers medical care should cover all medical care. Otherwise treatment is based on something other than medical need.

Second in the US sadly it doesn't, some states do including California.

Third governments nearly by definition gather your money to do something you don't want them to. The government is also going to use it to do a bunch of other stuff you do want.

Fourth considering the relevant cost in relation to the population for the vast majority of us if we're contributing to it at all it's likely less than a penny.

So either get everyone signed up for an organ registry, and answer when the collectors call, or stop trying to keep people from choosing who they donate their wombs to.

7th-Feb-2017 08:41 am - We All Belong at DJUSD
fair

Last Thursday I left practice early to attend the part of the board meeting where the board discussed the resolution that "We All Belong: Sfe and Welcoming Schools for All" you can find the resolution here:

http://davis.agendaonline.net/public/Meeting.aspx?AgencyID=131&MeetingID=40825&AgencyTypeID=1&IsArchived=False

Resolution 37-17 (Item VII of the agenda)

I participated in a discussion session where we discussed 5 key points. While I don't have the texts we discussed then, my impression was that these were stronger, and addressed a broader swath of children. I'm glad that the resolution is protective of immigrants and religious minorities because I see these groups as the most threatened right now, but I thought I remembered more general data protection and more focus on LGBTQ+ in the discussion. I fully accept that this is my particular filter, but I'd like it to be stronger there.

I also thought we talked about more concrete actions. This one is much more important. We will need to be watching for the concrete practices and policies that will make this more than a pretty piece of paper.

That said I am thrilled that DJUSD adopted this. It is a strong statement of our community values and it gives all of us pushing for support of all students something to point to. It is our city on the hill beacon that we stand for all students.

I failed to do my homework so I spent a bit of time when I first got there pulling it up and reading it on my phone.

When I got there public comment on this item had begun. All comments were generally positive, with some suggestions for edits.

I was particularly impressed by the statements from the mother and father of the Islamic school (I'm not precisely clear on the meaning of the titles in this context, but these two obviously included parental love and nurturing for their students in the duties).

She spoke with power and articulation and focused on how much more we are similar than different. She quoted Mia Angelo. She wore a full burka. When she started speaking I'd been trying to look something up, and I had to stop to listen because she had that presence.

He spoke more humbly. He spoke of his experience going to high school the day after September 11th. The bullying and hurtful experiences he had, and the teachers who helped him through. Then he spoke of his students, of their needs to be included, and to have time for prayer.

I pray daily, but as a Methodist, there's no particular time that is proscribed for prayers I do it right before bed because that is a time that works for me, but that doesn't mean it is not a real need for others. I was reminded of when we had some Muslim housemates. We helped them move in, and as prayer time came up there was consternation. It was a new place, and they weren't sure which way was east. We managed to find information that covered their need. It emphasized for me how even with our many similarities it is in supporting our differences that we show we are welcoming.

There were many other speakers. Anoosh represented Yolo Rainbow Families well. I was happy to see Montgomery well represented.

The Trustees of the board spoke. There was enthusiasm and word-smithing. The resolution was adopted with plans to edit, but not change the substance.

There were a couple of issues that weren't fully addressed:

How will parents be reached? The parent communications system works reasonably well for me, but there was a notable lack of Hispanic participation in a discussion item which was in large part trying to make sure our students of varying immigration status are welcome. When we had our previous discussion meeting we made some suggestions hopefully good methods will be used. The response when this came up was lacking in specifics, and used an example that overstated the parent board interaction.

How will training get to staff and students? This to me is the real crux of the issue. I'm thrilled that we have this resolution to point to but changing the climate in the schools is the real work.

And the wonk question: what policies will be put in place because of this. This is never exciting or popular, but it is what turns the light of a resolution into the salt that does the work of making the world, or in this case the school district a better place.

Like the Women's March this is a great first step, but it is nearly nothing if we do not follow it up.

Know this.

We are here.

We are watching.

We will roll up our sleeves and work with you.

But this is a great mountain of work that you have set yourselves to do, and we expect you to follow through.
30th-Jan-2017 02:44 pm - K-Rants Immigrants
fair
So this went up on facebook first, but I want to keep it here too.

I'm second generation Chinese American. My dad moved with his family from China to Hong Kong as a young child, and then came to the states for college.
He was an electrical engineer. He created a company,that he eventually sold,and then he did East Asian sales for Silicon Valley telecom companies. Now he's retired in Thailand, apparently when he was traveling for work he noticed that Thailand was the most relaxed place to be.
Dad's first move was because his dad was on the wrong side of the war in China. His family had papers, but they were refugees. They didn't want to leave China, it just wasn't safe for them to stay.
The US has never lived up to the bold statement on the Statue of Liberty, but it has been the quest to do so that has made us strong. It has brought the diversity of thought and culture that has allowed us to grow and thrive as a nation. That is all to the good.
I'm glad that it turns out that doing good has good results, but it isn't actually the main reason we need to welcome immigrants and refugees. We do good because it is the right thing to do.
Hospitality is a tenant of Christianity as well as many other religions. When someone comes knocking we welcome them in. It's not usually because we're happy to see them, or even because we're where they really want to be. It is because our home is a less bad option for them.
We are called to welcome our neighbor and the stranger, and our neighbors is defined to be everyone. When Christ talked about sorting out the good from the bad he did not talk about how well we knew or followed the law. He talked about how well we treated those less fortunate.
There is never any indication that these people we offer hospitality to will be model citizens. Some will. Some won't. Just like any sufficiently large population. We welcome to help, but we also welcome to be people we can take pride in being.
Build a bigger table if you want to build something, so that we can share meals, we don't need a wall.
24th-Jan-2017 07:48 am - Princess Juney Bean and the Swamp
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When we left off Princess Juney Bean, Swampy, Sticky, Slimy, and Cera were heading through the swamp to invite Cute to the frog party.
Read more...Collapse )
18th-Nov-2016 08:56 am - How could people not be disgusted?!
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I've been hearing a lot of people saying something to the effect of

"Even if Trump voters arent themselves racist, sexist, homophobic etc, the fact that he was didn't stop them from voting for him! That's a deal breaker for me!"

I have to say as a biracial, bisexual, liberal mother of a gender creative child that makes a lot of sense to me. But after seeing a few of these something was bugging me.

I don't know all the reasons people voted for Trump, and I may be totaly off on this, but an anology occured to me.

If my house was on fire, and a firetruck came zooming up to my house with a giant swastika painted on it I wouldn't even see that swastika until I was sure the fire was put out. or even if I did I surely wouldn't stop the firefighters while my house was still in danger.

Once the fire was out I'd raise holy hell, but I wouldn't, during the fire, have the bandwidth to care.

I'm not hurting in life. I've got a great job, and a great family, and I don't have any fear that this is likely to change. So, to me while this election was urgent. I wasn't going in feeling like my livelyhood was on fire.

It seems like helping people not feel that way would be a good way to help make sure we can focus on the issues that we find vital.

I don't think we can reasonably expect people to focus on the safety of others when they are conserned about there own. There are people who do that. These are great people. They should be praised. They should not be the new standard. If we're honest I suspect most of us don't live up to that. I know I don't.

Mr. Trump has put a spotlight on the people we have not adequately served. It's easy to be angry at them, or doubt their inteligence, or morality. It's even possible that it's right to feel that way. If we want to move forward as a country we need to find a solution that doesn't rely on anyone feel like a lesser citizen. If we don't we may fix the problem for now, but we're just setting it up to get worse for our children.

My impulse is to push the guaranteed minimum income as a part of the solution, but I think one of the areas where government trying to help people falls far short is going in saying we know the solution we'll do this thing that we came up with in our government office. Many of these things do help. But many don't, and even if they do help there isn't buyin from a lot of the community.

What we need to do is find a way to listen to eachother to seek to understand. In this process we're likely to hear a lot of things that set our teeth on edge. We're going to want to shut people down and tune them out because of that, and we can't afford to do that. We need to find ways to understand eachother. My hope is that in that process we will be understood, but the primary goal is to understand. To find the pain, and work together to relieve the pain.

I want to say that we also have pain, and it is legitimate, and it also needs to be addressed.We should work on that too. But the pain of the Trump supporters just added immensley to the rest of our pain. I suggest we focus a lot of our effort there.
fair
A few days after the surprise party ( but not the day after the party; that was a party that required a sleep in day to recover, and A cleanup day) Princess Juney Bean and Cera were adventuring in the local swamp. They were careful to keep to the marked paths. King Leaf had been careful to negotiate a treaty with the Jurassic Alligators so that he could come in to harvest some of his favorite vegetables, but the treaty was quite clear that if people wandered off the marked paths their safety was not guaranteed.

As Cera was munching on some lovely cattails just reachable from the path eyes appeared in the water. Cera jumped back, but Juney Bean laughed. "Swampy! Stop scaring Cera!"

"But I'm scared why shouldn't she be?"

Swampy had seen what she thought was a ghost, but she couldn't find Snowflake. Juney Bean and Cera decided to investigate. Cera might have resisted, but she wanted to show her bravery after the fright from Swampy.

Swampy had them climb on her back. They had standing permission to ride Swampy as long as it was okay with her. Usually she complained that Cera was getting too heavy, but taking the marked path would take an extra hour and Swampy wanted the ghosts to leave. They were right next to her favorite hunting spot.

As they got close to the spot the mist became thick and soupy. Ahead they saw glowing baubles about two Juney Beans high. They bobbed and swung.

"Do you see them?!"

They did. Cera and Princess Juney Bean looked at each other they were going to have to investigate.

They climbed onto the path. "Stay here Swampy, we'll check this out."

Princess Juney Bean walked quietly toward the lights. She grabbed a stick and when they got close she noticed some lights were moving and other ones were staying mostly still, and she heard squelching noises. She pushed the leaves out of the way and was confused.

There were a whole pod of frogs hanging lights and setting out piles of flavored flies, and setting up a dance floor, and music stage. The lights were decorations for the party. Sticky leapt over.

"Hi Princess Juney Bean, I had so much fun at your place we thought we'd have one too! Do you want to come?"

"Yeah! I should explain to Swampy. Can I invite her and Cute?"

Swampy was upset. "Sticky! I thought we were friends! Why didn't you invite me?"

"Oh, we were just setting up. We should be done in an hour or two, then we were going to invite people. If you want to help set up you're welcome to."

Swampy calmed down and offered to help go get Cute.
10th-Nov-2016 01:18 pm - Princess Juney Bean
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So in a complete break from politics we started doing PJB stories with Kosh a bit before Halloween. I've been meaning to get them down. I thought this would be a good time for some sillyness. Some of these, like this one, are from a bit back, and there are differences between oral storytelling, and writing, and I'm adding detail and retconning, so this won't be exactly what we told, but should be similar.


The StoryCollapse )
9th-Nov-2016 01:22 pm - We go High!
fair

It's a tough day today.

I started wanting to write something last night when it started really looking like Trump might win (I had a blessedly meeting filled afternoon, and between that, and taking Kosh to her Daisy
Scout meeting I didn't see results that I took seriously until about 8.

 My first thought in response to a Trump presidency, was to offer Governor Brown help with building the California wall. That was an angry and scared response. In content it's a bigger version of moving to Canada. Take me and mine out of the control of this government with this man at the top of it.

I had various ideas, but my dad consolidated my thoughts. I checked my email this morning, and my dad, who is retired in Thailand had emailed all 4 of us kids with encouragement to move to Canada.

That gave me a target.

This concept is tempting (like a California sesesion would be), but it's really terrifying if you follow it.

It's already too easy to keep yourself in an echo chamber. And in this case most importantly for our governmental leaders to keep themselves in echo chambers.


It would be one thing to run from Germany in the 1930s you could be running to someplace that could reasonably have been expected to be stronger than Germany. The United States is too powerful for that to be reasonable.

Therefore we desperately need everyone who is upset with the election results to stay in the United states, and to get active.

We need to  build relationships across socio economic barriers and across parties. We need to find the areas where we agree, and build movements based on those. It's going to be hard, and it's going to be scary, but it's our best chance to minimize the damage of this presidency.
That said there's no way in hell we're leaving California, My hope is that we're a big enough economic engine that we'll be able to maintain what we're doing.
Love and prayers to all,


This is what I wrote to my family.

That's more or less what I think, although I'm a little torn. There were people who said a Trump presidency would bring the revolution. I'm not 100% sure what that is, but I'm open to that potentially, but I'm tentative.

Regardeless if the next step is revolution or moderation and regroup for 2018 there are some steps I think we all benefit from.

We need to take care of ourselves. In as much as we can we should cut ourselves slack and allow ourselves to vent as we need to. We should try not to do something in anger or grief (or whatever strong emotion) that will haunt us a month from now.

Love and express your love for those we love. Give and get more hugs (or whatever sign of affection is best for the people involved) Make sure our groups know that they are safe, and if there is a real lack of safety do what we can to make it more safe.

As we have spoons/energy we need to be kind and loving to others. Do what we can to show that people are good and loving.

Give ourselves time. Time to think, and plan, and feel.

Be as well as you can be.

26th-Oct-2016 04:01 pm - My Vote
fair
So last night the school board candidates spoke at our PTA meeting, which was the last part of my information gathering on this election.
So here's how I'm voting. I think everyone should vote their conscience, but if you are undecided please feel free to vote the way I am, alternately use this and your understanding of me to increase your understanding of the ballot.

One of the things someone suggested at the meeting was to start at the bottom on the local items, and work your way up, so I'm going to run through that way.

Measure H - Yes
I'm a tax and spend liberal, and this will probably concretely benefit my child. It's an increased parcel tx for schools. I actually agree that it would be better if we did funding on a statewide, or even nation wide scale in a predictable way, but until that covers education needs fully I'll probably vote for any chance to fund education.

DJUSD Board vote for 2 - Alan Fernandes and Bob Poppenga
I'm actually excited about Alan. He's focusing on children's health and happyness, and talking about needs of minorities where the other 3 seemed more interested in churning out college students. Bob seemed the best of the 3 talking about building relationships between students of different ages. Jose Granda had interesting points about English language learners, but opposes Measure H, and even if I was going to vote against it I would expect the board to attempt to get the funding. Susan Loveburg didn't adress what she would work on so much as point out that she was a veteran of the board. While I haven't been unhappy with the board so far I'm not voting for anyone who just talks about what they have done without talking about what they will do.

Los Rios - Cecilia Escamilla-Greenwald
She has the endorsment of the entire DJUSD, and that's really all I know about her.

Yolo County Board of Ed - Shelton B. Yip
Experienced educator over a non local lawyer. (I don't have anything particularly against lawyers, but I think educators are better for the Board of Education)

State Assembly - Cecilia Aguiar-Curry
I went for someone more liberal in the primary, but she's the best choice in this election.

State Senator - Mariko Yamada

US Representative - John Garamendi

Prop 51 - Yes
Bonds for schools

Prop 52 - Yes
Continue Hospital fees necessary because the governonr is playing politics with this standard fee

Prop 53 - No
State approval of bonds makes it too hard to stop vital local bonds

Prop 54 - Yes
Legislation public for 72 hours before votes. I don't actually plan to look at any of these, but I want the legislature to have that time, and if we don't insist on it being public it won't happen.

Prop 55 - Yes
extention to taxes for schools and medical

Prop 56 - Yes increased tax on cigarets it seems like a big bump, but it will bring us to parity with other states, and has been shown to decrease smoking.

Prop 57 - Yes
Possibility of early parole for non-violent crimes

Prop 58 - Yes
More flexibility in bilingual education

Prop 59 - Yes
Do something to stop Citizens United. It won't actually do anything, but if it gets a strong vote people can point to it as a sign of what the public thinks.

Prop 60 - No
Porn condoms. The really problematic part of this one is that the enforcement is anyone watching it sueing. Everyone I've heard about it who works in the industry says that it makes them less safe not more.

Prop 61 - Yes
Perscription costs tied to what the VA pays. There's consern that this will hurt the VA's ability to negotiate, and the oddity of doing it as a state rather than nationally. I think with CA as the 5th largest economy in the world state vs national isn't huge. Also this one does allow the legislature to adjust things if it turns out to be problematic.

Prop 62 - Yes
End the death penalty. We've had so many instances where someone was on death row and then evidence came out that proved they were innocent.

Prop 63 - Yes
Background check for ammunition purchase

Prop 64 - Yes
Marijuana legalization

Prop 65 - No
Requires that the fee for bags go to specific funds. Currently the grocery store gets it. In large grocers they may have some profit from this, but in smaller grocers they're taking a loss, and it adds unnecessary buraucracy.

Prop 66 - No
Speed up death penalty. I actually think this would be better than the current system if it would work, but it sounds like it wouldn't.

Prop 67 - Yes
No plastic grocery bags. We already approved this once. The bag makers managed to bring it back onto the ballot. Also we've done it in Davis for a while seems to be working well.


Senator - Kamala Harris

President - Hillary Clinton
In the primaries I voted for and supported Bernie Sanders. I like his policies better, but I was happy to have my choice of 2 candidates that I liked to vote for. She's going to make an amazing president. Also I prefer to stay positive, but I think it is vital to thoroughly trounce Donald Trump. We need to make absolutely clear that he does not represent America. We need to do this to help our look internationally, but more than that we need to show ourselves that we can be better than that.

9th-Oct-2016 10:01 pm - Pictures in Public
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I'm late to the game, but there are rumblings on the Internet about picture taking at Folsom Street Fair. For reference, although I haven't been, my understanding is that Folsom is a street fair with a bondage/kink focus. My focus is that it is a place one might express parts of oneself that might not be freely expressed elsewhere somewhat like a gay pride event. I'm picking this example because it's closer to my experience. I'm sure it doesn't adequately express the wonderfulness that is Folsom.

It is a public location which is especially vital for groups that are outside of the mainstream. At a public event some people take pictures.

Some people are saying that the people in the pictures should have a say in whether or not they are in the pictures, and others are saying that no the photographer has a right to take the pictures regardless of the opinion af the subjects. It's important that photographers have this right in situations where the public needs to know about something. That does not absolve the photographer of responsibility. These photographs have consequences. In the case of events like Folsom not usually for the photographer.

So if someone doesn't want their picture taken, or asks you one delete it. Do your best to comply unless you feel like this picture being public will add to the greater public good because that person is in it.

You don't know why they're asking. It could be Thaler they don't like pictures, but it could be that they

fear a stalker

need their activities to stay closeted to maintain family relationships that may include financial support either for them, or support they're providing that might be refused if their activities were known

might be fired, or not considered for a position or promotion, or executed if the wrong person saw it

might be bullied or harassed because of it

There are other consequences but those are the ones that come to mind.

How would you feel if your photography lead Matthew Shepherd's tormentors and killers to him? Think about that when someone asks you to keep them out of your photographs, because it might be what they're worried about.

And this can be a conversation. You can express why you love a photograph that they're in, or talk about your process if that's a mutually enjoyable conversation. Maybe you'll find out that it's okay if their face doesn't show or something else may be the issue.

I'm a photographer. I know it's a pain when you get that great shot and can't use it, but I would be ashamed to use any picture that someone was upset about being a part of.

Also this isn't all about the photographer and the unwilling subject. If you know someone doesn't want pictures you can help by letting them know if a camera is out, or letting the photographer know that your friend needs to avoid pictures.

This has gone rambling because I have a lot of thoughts on it.

I was initially going to let this particular rumbling on the internet pass by, and then a good friend mentioned how incensed he was by it, and that made me think.

And like many a parent when I start thinking of something I thought about my sweet child. Kosh is 5 and happily tells people when it comes up that she was born with boy anatomy but is really a girl. I'd love it if she got to keep growing up safe in that and picked up in a history class that it used to be not so safe to be gender creative, but I don't anticipate it. I suspect even many years from now when she might want to go to this Folsom, rather than the Folsom Renn Faire with the trains in the playground, there will still be consequences to having pictures of having been around, and I hope it is a choice for her whether or not to chance them. I'm working on bringing her up so that she knows her family will support her and letting us know she's going, when she's old enough, will just get a request to make sure she's safe and kind. But I don't rule the world and can't make the rest of it follow those rules.
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